Mountainview International Church

Welcome to Mountainview. This morning we continue with our examination of the 7 Deadly Sins with a look at LUST. Having taken to heart Eric’s message on GLUTTONY and losing a few kilos, I can see this is may be a difficult message this morning for the ladies amongst us; having to spend the next 30 minutes with your eyes fixed on me! You’re right! We covered PRIDE a few weeks ago! At the very least you won’t fall victim to SLOTHFULNESS during this sermon. Gentlemen don’t be worked up by my comments…the Lord might just preparing you for the forthcoming messages on WRATH and ENVY.

In November 2007, Robert Stewart was convicted of the crime of having sex with a bicycle and placed on the sex offenders register. He was caught in the act by two cleaners who walked in on him and his bicycle in a hostel room. The story drew more than a million hits at the BBC website. Chat rooms around the world sparkled with debate about the issue! Was it because the bike was under 16? Did the bike belong to another man? Had he failed to realise that it was a mountain bike, not a mounting bike?

Questions about human rights and the privacy of the individual were hotly debated. Public opinion was mostly critical of what they viewed as “loony British laws". One blogger wrote: "I’m more disturbed by the sheriff's ruling than having sex with a bike."

We start with this story because when we come to the subject of lust one of the biggest questions people have is this: Is it really so wrong? Isn’t sexual desire and its fulfilment just another physical function like eating and drinking and going to the bathroom. Leviticus lists adultery and bestiality as sins, but not “bicicality”! If the bike wasn’t getting hurt in any way, was Mr Stewart really doing anything wrong?

We need to recognise that there is a lot of confusion about the subject of lust and sex. Our world filled with sexual imagery, yet most of us feel uncomfortable – especially in the church - with the talking about it. Movies promote casual hook-ups for sex and yet the radio abounds with songs about love being “forever” and a life-long exclusiveness to relationships. Lust is domesticated in our culture and yet we are revolted by adultery and rape, its fruits. Sexual experimentation for teens is generally seen as a good thing, yet at the same time cases of sexually transmitted diseases have risen more than 2.000% in the UK, mainly among youth. The world trivializes sex whereas the church tyrannizes sex. “The enemy, the forbidden fruit, the greatest and most shameful of all sins” (Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung).

Confusion! I hope this morning we can unravel some of the confusion and leave us a perspective of sexuality as a gift from God that if handled and nurtured appropriately will, as Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung says in her book:

Serve to enhance our full humanness and the possibility of loving each other

What is Lust?

What is lust? We need to be very clear, lust is not the same as sexual desire. They say the difference between looking at lust is 5 seconds! Graham Tomlin says in his book on the 7 Deadly Sins:

Lust happens when one person treats another person as just a body and no more; as an instrument, a means to an end...Lust is bad, not because sex is ‘dirty’, but because sexual desire distorted in this way is deeply and cruelly self-centred.

Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung reminds her readers of the close association between lust and gluttony. They’re both vices connected with physical pleasure. Writing of the sins of lust and gluttony she says:

Their excessiveness reduces something designed for more than pleasure to mere pleasure, and reduces even the fullness of that pleasure to mere self-gratification...the lustful one sees in sex and sexual objects only their usefulness in giving pleasure

Connecting lust and pride Rebecca writes:

Lust is the habit of trying to engineer my own happiness for myself, on my own terms…My own pleasure is the goal...My life revolves around my desires, wants and “needs”…I disown my need for God’s love or the love of others. I prefer to find my own delight, meet my own desire for satisfaction, fill myself…The lustful one chooses to be autonomous providing his good for himself.

Like gluttony we try to satisfy an infinite spiritual need with a finite, never-quite-satisfactory, focus on physical pleasure.

Sex is Very Good!

When Moses comes down the mountain after collecting the commandments he says to the people. “The good news is that we’ve got them down from 40 to 10. The bad news is, adultery is still on the list!”

The church has been guilty of condemning sexual desire as evil - something ugly to be shamefully endured in order to ensure the continuing of the human species! God has created us with sexual desires. Sex and orgasms are gifts from God. Song of Songs is a whole book in the bible dedicated to erotic love. Christianity celebrates sex as virtuous, vital, within marriage. God is pro-sex! Christianity is hostile to lust is not sex.

When I was a teenager something that made a last impression on me was an older couple, called Dennis and Shelia Shepherd coming to talk to our youth group on sex. Well over 50, they told us, much to the surprise of a bunch of teens with hormone overloads that throughout their married lives sex had gotten better and better. In August Riekje and I will have been married for 17 years and our experience has been that sex keeps on getting better.

Studies consistently demonstrate, sexual satisfaction is higher among those in faithful, monogamous marriages yet significantly lower among the promiscuous. Sexual satisfaction is the fruit of love not the means to love.

It’s important we start with an appreciation of the goodness of sex. Evil does not create, but only twists good. We cannot fully grasp the destructiveness of self-centred lust until we appreciate and measure it against, amazing, selfless, loving, good sex.

To the married! When we grasp how good loving sex will bless our marriage, strengthen our family and develop us as human beings we will want to have lots of sex with our spouse. Mountainview’s policy for the married’s is…LOTS of sex!

To the singles! When you grasp the blessings of good, loving sex within marriage you’ll want to preserve your virginity. The principal argument with waiting until you’ve tied the knot is not the destructiveness that’s unleashed, but the blessings that are forfeited.

Soul Sex

From the enlightenment onwards the world has come to view humans as just another animal. Sexual desire is an animal instinct – a basic instinct. Another tragedy; the church has promoted the angelic. Sexual desire is something to overcome!

Rob Bell in his book, Sex God, writes:

When we deny the spiritual dimension to our existence, we end up living like animals. And when we deny the physical, sexual dimension of our existence, we end up living like angles. And both ways are destructive because God has made us human.

In his sermon on gluttony, Eric mentioned how those who’ve thought deeply about the deadly-sins promote a unity between the body and the soul. What we do with our body affects our soul and what we do with our soul affects our body. To be fully human involves a embracing a challenging tightrope walk that balances our physical & spiritual dimensions. These sermons on the deadly sins are helping us become more human.

I’ve asked [name] to read a short passage from Corinthians about the unity between our sexuality and our spirituality.

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your body. (I Corinthians 6: 13-20)

Paul reminds us, there’s something deeply physical and deeply spiritual about sex. Our sexuality lies at the core of our being. Preaching this message makes me more uncomfortable than the one on money because it a subject touching the core of who I am.

Sex, profoundly unites us at a physical and spiritual level to another human being. Paul is kind of saying that in the deepest place of being there are 2 primary connection points. One for marriage to another human being and one for our marriage to the Triune God! Sex outside of marriage messes up our physical and spiritual connection with another person AND it’s messes up our spiritual connection with the Triune God.

Currently having or have been having premarital or extra marital sex? Stop! Repent of the damage being caused to others, to self and to our relationship with God. Ask God to forgive, restore, and profoundly unite us to Himself and our spouse.

When I was a child there was a Doberman Pincer guarding a house near our home. The dog was kept on a long chain. As kids we used to see how close we could get. The dog would come running, mouth foaming, and, inches from our face, reaching the end of the chain, it would be yanked back. Sexual desire is powerful, but it’s fragile! Sex is deeply physical and spiritual. Sex in the right context can profoundly bless us! Sex in the wrong context can profoundly damage us! Paul warns: Don’t see how close you can get to immoral sex before it bites. Immoral sex will hurt you physically, emotionally and spiritually. Keep away from it. Run from it! Flee from it!

Pornography

I want to focus on pornography for a couple of minutes. Here are some rather frightening statistics.

Over 70% of men have problems with pornography. That’s quite a number of the men seated here (or those at the beach this weekend). The internet has made matters worse. 70% of men from 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month. We don’t have to be worried anymore about accidentally bumping into your pastor when you buy a porno magazine in the VIBBS bookstore at Heron City. We have the internet! Most of us have wives who don’t know how to scrutinize our browsing histories.

90% of children between the ages of 8 & 16 have viewed pornography on the Internet, mostly unintentionally. The average age of first exposure to pornography is 11.

A growing number of MV kids are hitting puberty! Hormones are switching on! This is an issue that us parents at Mountainview are going to have to think seriously about.

Pastors are not immune! A Christianity Today survey found that 37% of pastors struggle with addiction to pornography.

Research is showing a growing number of women have problems with pornography. 34% of female readers of, Today's Christian Woman's, an online newsletter, admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn. 1 out of 6 women, (including Christian women), struggle with an addiction to pornography.

I read an article about women and pornography. It seems in our highly sexualized society women’s brains are physiologically rewiring themselves to be more sensitized to sexual imagery. Our brains are not fixed, but malleable. They adapt to the information they’re fed. 2,000 years ago the Apostle Paul wrote:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is— his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 2:2)

The verse speaks of the unity between our body and soul. As we allow God’s truth to sink into our mind, our brains physically rewire themselves to make us more spiritually sensitive; to the voice of God and following his leading.

Whatever we think about statistics, I think we agree that pornography is a serious issue for the churched and for the unchurched. Sexual desires are very strong and pornography is incredibly addictive. We quickly go from occasional glimpses to regular viewing to the point where pornography dominates our lives. The level of perversity required for piquing our interest, quickly spins out of control. We find ourselves looking at stuff that would shock even me – and I’m pretty thick skinned!

Like gluttony, the more we try to satisfy a God given hunger in the wrong way the hungrier we grow and less satisfied we become.

Graham Tomlin writes:

Lust is like eczema. The more we scratch it, the more it itches. Stimulation does not lessen sexual desire and tension. It may give temporary relief, but in the long term it just increases it!

Pornography damages the viewer. It damages the closeness of sexual union God wants us to enjoy with our spouse. Instead of taking delight her aging body that has borne 4 kids we start to see her as bad porn. It demeans people, particularly women and children. It can quickly get violent. Behind the images are real victims, suffering real pain.

If you have a problem with pornography, please get the help that you need! There’s a 70% chance that if you spill the beans with another man he’ll also be a fellow suffer. Women your chances when confiding in another woman are 16%. If you come and talk to me there is a 37% chance that we’re visiting the same websites.

Please understand this. Mountainview will not be wheeling in polygraph machines and expelling the guilty (we probably would not be left with a big church if we did). God has united us in community. We’re here to help, not to judge. We’re here to offer each other rich measures of God’s grace and forgiveness so that we can break the chains of lusts and experience freedom.

I want to offer us some practical advice on:

Overcoming Lust

Appropriately they are all “F” words!

1. Faith:

If the accumulated wisdom from the past 1700 years suggests that at the root of lust is an attempt to satisfy a deeper spiritual hunger then it stands to reason that first place lust is healed is through a deepening relationship with Christ. Allowing God to satisfy what only God can satisfy! For God to give us the strength to say no to the flesh and live for Christ! To teach us to see other people as God sees them – people made in his image to be loved, not lusted after! To invite the Holy Spirit to come and dwell within the core of our being; to change our hearts and make us more human!

2. Fervour:

A while back a number of us men went though the Wild at Heart course. John Eldredge says every man needs an adventure to live, a battle to fight and a beauty to win. John believes one of the roots of pornography is that in the modern world of suburbia and Blackberries, men are losing their soul. Lust becomes a damaging attempt at finding adventure and winning a beauty.

When I was a teenager, together with a friend, we spent our secondary school years trying to reach our whole school for Christ. The adventure gave me a level head and Godly heart at a time when my hormones were raging.

It’s when David is idling is time away on the palace roof, far from the battlefront that he sees Bathsheba bathing and starts his slide into lust, then adultery, then murder.

Paul says:

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord. (Romans 12:11)

This relates back to last weeks message on slothfulness. If we wake up thinking, how can I serve Christ this day? What part can I play in this crazy Mountainview adventure to reach 5,000 Spaniards with the Gospel? If we foster lives of spiritual adventure! If we fight for Christ’s kingdom to advance, rather than waste away in our suburban castles! If we pray for and work towards wining people hearts to the beauty of Christ! Then trust me! The fires of lust will die down, our sanity will return and our lives and marriages and families and communities will be blessed.

3. Fraternity:

Fraternity means brotherhood. Lust thrives in a climate of privacy and isolation. People with entrenched lust problems feel shame which often pushes them even more to keep their struggles hidden. Overcoming lust requires honest accountability with other brothers and sisters. James writes:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16)

It was music when someone at Mountainview said they’d met someone who suffered from the same sins and they were planning to meet regularly to keep each other accountable.

Lust is self focussed. Community is a good antidote to lust because it gives opportunity to learn the hard work of loving others and considering their needs before our own.

4. Filters:

We all have filters on our mind. On the train this week I noticed a beautiful Spanish girl with long, black, shiny hair. When she got up to leave the train and turned in my direction, she was a he, with a beard. My filters were engaged VERY quickly. About once a month I get a Skype request from girls, often Russian and called Natalia. Apparently interested in coming to Madrid and having sex with married men. I imagine it’s from an ugly Russian man trying to extort money from me! It’s easy to hit block. The girls in Playboy have really bad b.o. and halitosis. Ladies there is a reason why the guy in the internet chat room is contacting you. Use whatever filters work for you!

5. Flaws:

Lust will feed off our flaws - areas of brokenness in our lives. A student at seminary: His dad was a missionary in Sicily for 17 years. His dad worked hard but never saw a convert. One day he came across a pornographic magazine. It fed off his pain, those years without fruit. It took hold of him. He quit his ministry, left his wife and shacked up with a Sicilian chick. In some ways, quite understandable! Discover the deeper issues beneath your lust problem and then, with God’s help, attend to the real problem.

Try to take notice of times where you are vulnerable with lust. I tend to lust more when I’m tired. I need to get some rest. Are you tempted to masturbate when you are lonely? Then get some friends. Join a home group! Does alcohol weaken a resolve not to look at internet porn? Then stop drinking!

Conclusion:

Timothy Keller says that the idols in our hearts cannot be cast out; they can only be displaced out. This series is all about returning Jesus to the centre of our lives. The first step to over coming lust this morning is to invite Christ to come in and displace out lust.

[Let us pray]